Keep Laughing with Jim Breuer

by Drew Snyder

An indispensable part of the late 90s SNL cast, Jim Breuer continues to push the boundaries in comedy with his sensational stand-up act. Recently he was named one of Comedy Central’s “100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time” and can be heard on his Sirius/XM Radio show “Fridays with Breuer”. I had the pleasure of speaking with Jim in preparation for his upcoming show at the NYCB Theatre at Westbury, November 25th.  

Drew: So tell us what it was like growing up in Valley Stream and how that might have shaped your future in comedy?

Jim: In our heads we think it’s our own little country. It was such a great childhood. I’ve prayed so hard that my kids would have half the childhood I had. It was just a different time, man. Everyone was funny. It’s that blue-collar mentality.

Drew: Back then, who was your biggest inspiration?

Jim: Eddie Murphy was the biggest one.

Drew: And how did SNL come about?

Jim: Well I had a couple deals and eventually NBC asked me to audition for it. The network was pushing for me to be on there.

Drew: What is your best memory of SNL?

Jim: There are a lot of them. I would say working with Tom Hanks. And meeting Pesci and DeNiro.

Drew: Could you share a low point of being on the show?

Jim: Probably my lowest point was my first six to nine episodes because I just couldn’t get on.

Drew: When you look back at Jim Breuer 15 years ago, what do you see?

Jim: Oh, man. I see a guy with raw talent who just probably wasn’t ready. If I had it now, I probably would never look back.  But back then I was raw and dumb. I wasn’t even close to what I am now.

Drew: On October 25^th, 1997, Chris Farley hosted SNL while you were part of the cast. Personally, what was it like working with him?

Jim: He was probably one of the biggest performers I ever, ever worked with. Meaning he just knew how to smoke the place once the lights were on. He wasn’t going to be second to anyone. He was a monster.

Drew: I understand you’re friends with fellow comedians Tracy Morgan, Norm Macdonald, and Dave Chappelle. Have you kept in touch or have any recent stories involving them?

Jim: Norm once in a while I see. Dave hasn’t called in three years. Tracy and I cross paths every once in a while. He’s always doing something.

Drew: How do you feel when strangers ask you to do Goat boy? Is it something that bothers you?

Jim: (Laughs) No not at all. That’s their “Walk This Way” or “Dream On.” Whatever gets their eyes on me, because it means I’ve got them. I have repeat offenders. I’m going to say 70 percent of the people who come to see me, have done so already 3-5 times.

Drew: Since you’ll be performing stand up at Westbury on the 25^th, what’s it like playing to a Long Island crowd?

Jim: It’s like playing in my backyard; it’s almost too easy. I destroy that place. I set my bar really high. Like that’s the place where I just want to destroy.

Drew: Finally, how long do you plan on continuing as a stand up act?

Jim: Until I’m dead. That’s the only thing I have to fall back on. That’s the great thing, no matter how successful you get, you can come back and do that and talk about it. When you’re failing, you can come back and talk about it. It’s always my steady job.

WBAB Presents Jim Breuer 11/25 NYCB Theater at Westbury . For tickets visit LiveNation.com and for more tour information visit www.jimbreuer.com

New Children’s Book: Do Witches Make Fishes? by Jason Mayo

Last October I interviewed Jason Mayo and his family about his comical and successful blog Outnumbered. I asked Jason…

Christine – Do ever think about writing a book one day?

Jason – I was thinking about writing some sort of a humor memoir about parenting but also anything I can do that goes to charity. So if anything getting more involved in Garden of Dreams, has inspired me to sort of think about possibly doing something to take the blog thing to the next level and turning it to some sort of charity effort.

Within one year of this interview, Jason amazes us with his brand new children’s book Do Witches Make Fishes? With bold and colorful illustrations by Justin Wolfson, Jason tells the tale of a little boy who prefers candy over his mom’s healthy dishes. The boy brings us on a new journey after he wishes that his mother disappears only to learn that moms always right! Jason captures the eyes of a child with humor and tackles a very familiar subject that all parents can relate to. From a successful blog and  now a successful book, Jason Mayo is unstoppable and writes with his heart. When you purchase his new book all profits will go the Garden of Dreams Foundation.

NEW YORK – Oct 13, 2010 – Author Jason Mayo announces the release of his latest children’s book, Do Witches Make Fishes?

Do Witches Make Fishes? is the moral tale of a young boy who favors candy over his mother’s outlandish but healthy dishes. When faced with an ultimatum from his mother, the boy has to make a difficult choice. What ensues is a series of extraordinary and fantastical events that takes the reader on a magical journey through the imagination of a child.

In the end, the book teaches an important lesson to children about eating healthy, as well as, learning to make responsible choices. The book is fun to read for both parents and kids and boasts eye-popping, color illustrations. It is most appropriate for children ages 4-8.

All of the profits from the sale of the book are being donated by the Author to The Garden Of Dreams Foundation; Garden of Dreams is a 501c3 non-profit charity that works closely with all areas of Madison Square Garden, including the New York Knicks, Rangers, Liberty, MSG Media, MSG Entertainment and Fuse Network “to make dreams come true for kids in crisis”.

What People Are Saying:

“Just in time for Halloween, Mayo crafts a story that is both fun and engaging while remaining a little bit twisted and deliciously ghoulish as it tackles the topic of picky eating.” –Honest Baby

“Do you have a kid who won’t eat his vegetables? Would your kids rather have candy at every meal? Well, perhaps you should check out Do Witches Make Fishes? by Jason Mayo and see if they change their minds.” – My Book Retreat

“The illustrations are beautiful and are geared towards a child’s eye. It is not at all scary, but very fantastical and imaginative and completely different than ALL THE OTHER BOOKS YOUR KIDS HAVE. I promise.” – MamaPop

About The Book:

Do Witches Make Fishes? by Jason Mayo

ISBN-13: 978-1452069449

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Date of publish: August 23, 2010

Pages: 36

S.R.P.: $12.99

About the Author:

Jason Mayo is the author of the children’s book, Do Witches Make Fishes? He is also the author and creator of a popular dad blog and has written for the pop culture website, MamaPop and is a regularly featured blogger at www.honestbaby.com .  He was recently chosen by BlogHer as one of the Top 100 Voices of the Year. In real life, he is the Managing Director and Partner of the award winning NYC Digital Media Boutique, Click 3X.

Jason is married and has two amazingly smart and beautiful daughters. They all live together and give each other much love and headaches. Do Witches Make Fishes? is his first children’s book.

For more information about Do Witches Make Fishes? please visit: www.dowitchesmakefishes.com or email witchesandfishes@gmail.com

SpotonLI presents Guest Blogger Jill Mizrahi Balnis creator of Blog Yourself Silly. Jill is a recent graduate of Hofstra University with a BA in English and creative writing. Married with two beautiful kids, Jill shares her life, love and at 40 proves that she’s only just begun.

Thirty-Eight Plus TWO

Wow. It’s here. Today. The big one. The one I never thought I’d make it to. Forty. I can barely type it.

But you know, so far, it’s really not so bad. Eight made me “coffee-in-bed” (bless her little heart, the “on” button wasn’t working on the coffee machine and she couldn’t get the milk carton open. I didn’t mind helpin’ her one bit when she came up with the carton while I was all bleary-eyed in bed. God forbid Twelve help her.) Anyway, she also made pancakes (again, with my help as Twelve was too busy with his Playstation 3 head-set on and was in video-game bliss) and she answered the phone all morning taking birthday messages for me while I rested. What I am finding, though, is that with the journey to forty comes the culmination of at least some wisdom and a little bit more acceptance. Forty brings decisions, (some that are life-altering), realizations, (the ah-has! we all heard about from Oprah) and the Grand Puba of all… the “fuck its/yous/thats”. Sometimes I like those the best. It means my skin is thickening and that I’m not running around with my tail between my legs all the time. Certain things and experiences are still a little frightening to face in some ways, but also exciting in others. I don’t know – maybe forty is going to be better than twenty. Mentally at least. What follows are some observations, lessons and some things I’ve accepted up to this point in my life:

For starters:

– These days, I wait anxiously each month for the “beast” to come, NOT for fear that if it doesn’t I could be pregnant, but out of fear that its absence could mean I might be experiencing those types of changes that indicate I will be growing hair in bad, more-visibly unacceptable places. When that shit happens, I’m just throwin’ in the fucking towel.

– Gone are the days when I’d fling my bra off ASAP in order to free the girls. Now I sleep with said bra in hopes that I can re-train them to lay where the good Lord intended. But really, it’s like trying to re-elasticize a rubber-band. Impossible.

– The allure of a thong is wearing off. All thongs and anything resembling a thong have somehow migrated to the bottom of the undies drawer. Not to say that I completely ignore them altogether, but lately I have more important concerns for my ass than whether I have panty-lines. The temptation of the three-pack of Hanes bikini undies hanging in Target’s intimate apparel aisle won out one day: I circled around with my wagon and finally threw in the stupid pack. For a moment, I even considered going up a size AND to briefs just for the sheer promise of MORE comfort. Comfort over style is totally age-related, although it has yet to completely win. I am not ready to give in to panty lines AND the promise of total comfort and belly-coverage all in one shot.

– I have accepted I’ve reached that level of uncoolness we all dread as parents. Here I am, thinking I can kick ASS at Wii Just Dance, but all Twelve has to do is wiggle his hips and flick the Wii remote and he wins – every fucking time. And then there I am laying, on the couch, winded and sweaty and listening to chants of “DORK DORK DORK” coming from his wise-ass self. Is it wrong that I’ve come ::thisclose:: to saying “fuck you” to my child out of sheer frustration?

– Not to say I don’t want to look nice when I leave the house, but I’ve found as I get older, I don’t care so much about how awful I look sometimes, either. I mean, really… sometimes it’s easier to fall asleep in what I’m already wearing and much easier not to have to get dressed again in the morning. What…? I have to be fashion conscious just for school drop off and a stop at 7-11? I don’t know if throwing a sweatshirt over my recycled outfit really does constitute a brand new outfit or if it just means I’m old and lazy. (pause) Okay, so after re-reading that, 1) it sounds yucky, and 2) I’ve decided that yes, I AM old and lazy. But because I know for a fact SEVERAL people who’ve done that, too, (and there are a few people I can add to that list with some degree of certainty), I don’t care that I actually wrote it. Some of you are nodding to yourselves saying, oh my god! I’m not the only one! Don’t deny it.

– The fact that I don’t care that I wrote that above means something BIG for me.

– As I get older, the more I enjoy saying really bad, offensive words. I can’t help it. I LIKE it. I say them often, too. Even to my mom, Sixty-Seven. (Well, she says them, too, so…. we’re even).

On a more serious note, I really have come to many things leading up to this decade of my life. I’ve realized that in my quest to please others, I’ve oftentimes made things harder for myself and allowed other people to hurt me. I know now that I can’t always please everyone and it’s okay. And those that have hurt me are long gone from my life and it no longer affects me negatively. They’re in my past for a reason: lesson learned, moving on.

I’ve learned that the further I am from perfect, (or trying to be), the better off I am. My faults make me strive to better myself, they motivate me, and they keep my determination alive to fight for what I want and need. Perfect, truly, is overrated and I’ve come to like and accept my idiosyncrasies.

Life really is a journey and sometimes our paths veer off to places we never knew existed or ever thought about taking. But, as Frost said:
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
So, if my life takes me onto a different path, well damn it, if it ends up making all the difference, then so be it.

And finally, I have met and I have known many people in these 40 years and while some have come and gone, they were probably there for some reason. Maybe I learned what I needed, (or didn’t need, for that matter) from these people, or maybe they came and went because their paths took them another way. Whatever the reason, so be it.

Then there are those that came and went, who added nothing to my life but heartache. I’ve learned not to cry over experiences or people like that in life anymore – they’re not worth the tears or the emotional exhaustion from crying them. I’ve learned how to weed out the good from the bad because of these types. While I say “good riddance,” I’m still grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.

Then there are those friendships that have sustained throughout the years; those that have been unsinkable through the good times and the stormy ones. These are the friends that are considered as part of my family. These are the people I know who love me.

So, tonight as I celebrate this milestone, I raise my chocolate martini glass to these people:

-To those who have touched my life, whether in the past or present, I am nothing but thankful.
-To the people who make me cry from laughing so hard, and you all know who you are, laughter is most def the best medicine for anything that ails a person.
-To the people who move me to tears simply because of the admiration I have for them, or for sharing their struggles, and for demonstrating their strength during these struggles. How wonderful and generous that you’ve invited me into your lives and allowed me to stay and share with you.
– To the people who bring out the parts of me that I never knew were there,(or the parts of me that were there but were afraid to come out), and who allow me to be exactly the person I’ve come to be at this ripe ol’ age. Throughout my life, I’ve often wondered who I was and what I was all about because I’ve never had the confidence or courage to see things in myself and allow them to just “be.” Then unexpectedly, this person who’s always struggled with herself finally does come out and does so quite naturally and without much fanfare. I see the same face in the mirror, but I see a different person behind the visage. People who have come into my life and who have helped me, even unknowingly, with this type of self-discovery and acceptance are the types of friends everyone needs. I’m grateful to have them because the gift they’ve given me is priceless. I do hope and pray they know who they are, and if they don’t, well… there will come a day I will make certain they do.

So, as Thirty-Eight Plus Two (a.k.a “Forty”), I finally seem to be learning things in life, -things about people, things about myself -that have great significance and staying power. While I count my blessings of what I have and what I once had, I am looking forward to what else lies before me, what path my life may take, and the people I may encounter. And along the way, I hope that I, too, can touch people’s lives in a positive, memorable way.

Love and cheers from Ol’ Forty.

Roasted by BoneheadBlog.com

Last night we went to see  Jeffrey Ross at Caroline’s on Broadway.  My thoughtful wife got us the tickets as a Christmas gift.  If you haven’t already noticed we really enjoy stand-up comedy. We do like to laugh as often as possible, and a live comedy show is a great way to partake in our little hobby.  With us, there’s always a side story to our adventures, and last night was no exception.

The past year has been a mini comedy tour of our own.  We’ve managed to get ourselves involved in some shows – usually inadvertently.  I was invited to show off my dance skills at a show last year on our family vacation. We’ve had opportunity to meet some of our favorite comics, Lewis Black, Jon Reep, Josh Blue, Susie Essman. We went to last night’s show fully expecting to be roasted. That is of course what Ross is known for, and, as typically is the case with us – we managed to get seats right near the front. Well, we didn’t get picked on – but my wife wound up being a part of the show – as the piano player.

It was a great show. The emcee for the evening was Rachel Feinstein, a local comic who lives in Brooklyn, and she was really funny.  James Smith, whose shtick seems to be that of an Australian slacker, was absolutely hysterical. Jeffrey Ross did over an hour and had us cackling like a couple of demented schoolgirls. He was brutal – just like we had hoped.

Towards the end of his set – he asked for a volunteer to come up to the piano that was at the side of the stage to accompany him as he read some “poems”. The place was packed, probably three or four hundred in the room, yet there didn’t seem to be any piano players available, or frankly, anyone brave enough to step up and risk being insulted by the guy who’s known as the Roastmaster General.

No problem, the Giddys are in the house.

Chrissy can tickle the ivories, and occasionally actually plays the piano. I can see her looking at me as if she was saying “Should I go up there?” What she actually said was “Should I go up there?” Not to be accused later in the evening of volunteering her, I discreetly pointed in her direction and mentioned to the couple sitting next to us that my wife plays the piano. They of course took the bait and further encouraged her to go up to the piano – which she did.

So she sits down and answers the usual questions and comments; where are you from, who are you here with, you sure have some  big fucking tits …she mentioned that she had gotten me the tickets for Christmas, for which Jeffrey wished me a Merry Christmas. As too then did pretty much everyone in the place on the way out, and at the bar after the show. It was nice.

She’s playing some poetry music; actually it was Stu’s song “Doug” from The Hangover. She’s been recently teaching Junior Miss Giddy to play it. One of the ways that people get themselves into trouble at a comedy show is by trying to “out-funny” the pros. Having been to enough shows, she knew full well to just play it straight and she’d look much better, although I know how hard it must have been sitting there knowing there was a live mic right in front of her.

Each of the poems in the bit had ridiculous titles. One of them Ross entitled “I Think we should See Other People” to which Chrissy could hold back no longer. Upon hearing the title she instinctively said “Can I sing that one?” A well timed zinger designed to roast me got a great response from the room and from Jeff.

Figures, she gets me tickets to see an insult comic and she’s the one who ends up roasting me. Just another typical Saturday night out.

Check out Boneheads Stand Up debut on the Giddy Mystery Cruise

Beers with Josh Blue

Chrissys interview with Susie Essman on SpotOnLI

New Release Tuesday-Old News

by Bonehead

New Release Tuesday As a prelude to my Black Friday extraveganza – I just thought I’d point out something you may not have noticed.  Today – two TV show contestants released their debut albums, just in time for the holiday shopping season, Adam Lambert from  American Idol , and Susan Boyle from  Britains Got Talent .

Their cover designs are somewhat similar I thought…

Reminded me of a little known album that was realeased in the early 90′s….

Not many people remember that MaCauley put out an acapella album of old school Austrian holiday music.  Problem was, his voice was just starting to change and every song sounded like a bad  Peter Brady  impression.  Plus, they were sung in German – so most of them were actually sort of frightening.